Archives for category: writing

The time of reckoning has come. There are exactly 12 days until I return to Montreal and 18 days before classes start. And the beginning of classes means only one thing: The Fishbowl.

The Fishbowl (aka study-hole of hell) is the corridor between the Redpath and McLennan libraries and features one wall that is entirely window. This gives the studying student the disconcerting feeling of being watched Рaka trapped in a fishbowl. People are constantly walking by the corridor so silence is very hard to come by. Also, given that this is Montreal, the outside scenery outside the window usually features snow, grey, and even more grey snow. Bah.

Clearly the Fishbowl is not the most pleasant studying environment. I’m fairly certain that McGill does offer nicer libraries – maybe. But I prefer to do the bulk of my studying in the most awful, noisiest library McGill offers. I figure since I’m doing something highly unpleasant I might as well do it someplace I want to get out of as soon as possible. This makes for very time-efficient studying. Plus I’m too lazy to search out a better library.

Maybe if I had a library like this to study at I might be better motivated?

UC Berkeley library - oh the high rafted ceilings and wood accents!

Instead I have this:

WHY

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September has always been my favourite month, namely for one reason – back to school. I am a huge nerd at heart and I’m not afraid to say that I’ve always loved school. Every August would be spent in anticipation for the upcoming school year – seeing my friends everyday, new classes, big plans and dreams. I would troll stationary shops stocking up on new school supplies – crisp new notebooks, packs of pens, stacks of binders – and start planning my back-to-school outfits.

This year has been different.

Suddenly, the upcoming school year has become something to dread. I have exactly 20 days left before I leave for Montreal and school, and every day that passes by feels like a slow death march. I think about getting back into the school routine – the endless lines at the Paragraphe bookstore, climbing the steps of the Arts building, the endless -40 degree winter – and my heart clenches with dread. I don’t want to go back to school.

There is so much coming up in the next month. I think about it all and become stressed out. New living situation, new roommates, harder classes, new job, new friends. In August alone I will be moving into a new home, buying and assembling furniture, finding a new job, and figuring out volunteering and internship positions. Not to mention, on top of all that, is the ever-pressing issues of navigating my social life, sticking to a healthy diet and exercise plan, and keeping up my grades (in much more difficult classes!). I’m having trouble sleeping at night thinking about everything I need to do.

Most of all, I love love love my life here in Vancouver. Sure, it’s not ideal. But I have great friends, an amazing city I know my way around, and my family. Why am I leaving again?

And when did I get so scared?